...I'm putting this poem up, which I wrote in 2005 and still think is funny. Most people haven't read enough about research methodology to know the vocabulary, but pretty much everyone gets the basic idea.

At some point soon, I promise, I will write some more substantive things and post them.



Research

Let me describe my methodology.

First, I’ll deconstruct your arguments
Remove your underlying assumptions and
Introduce you to my communitarian philosophy.
You know the boundaries of our discipline are false
So let’s be open to our partisan nature,
Reveal our bodies of data and give consent
To further study. It’s true—
I want to have discourse with you,
I want to part your dichotomies,
Take a position, and operationalize
All your variables. I want to mesh our systems
Ground my knowledge in your epistemology
And listen to your dissertations all night long.
Let’s go beyond enlightenment — Together
We can find a perfectionist approach
To explore multiple outcomes
Until our debate becomes crucial
Our methods intersect
And entirely new ways of knowing
Are created.